My non-existent condition...

It irritates me to no end when no one believes I have a medical condition.

One of the bones in my spinal column at the S1 and S2 nodes are concave inwards with spurs, causing a dip into the nodes, pinching my nerves and creating shooting pain through my lower back, upper back, shoulders, and legs.

Yet no one seems to believe I am in pain with this condition.

I do not scream in agony. I just live with it. I would grimace and grit my teeth and clench my fists.

The pain occurs at random times roughly about 3 times per week, at times when I could just be walking leisurely around or just standing at work. The episodes could last about half an hour to a few days.

I have learned not to walk like I'm in pain. Even the nerve specialist told me years ago that he would never have believed my condition if he wasn't holding my MRI scan in his hands. A good friend of mine informed me that if I limped and favoured a certain part of my body, the other part will carry the burden and will deteriorate even faster. That's why I walk normally like everyone else.

People don't believe I have this condition. They don't have to say it, I could tell in their eyes that they think I'm making it up. It's like I enjoy popping corticosteroids and pain pills and giving myself nausea, stomach cramps, drowsiness as side effects. Heck, who doesn't mind vomiting and being a space cadet driving and at work when I should be alert? Maybe I need to be in a wheelchair for people to understand.

In a course of about six years, I went into the hospital for the initial searing pain in my back, later on I had experienced a temporary paralysis (for about 15 minutes) in my legs, later I had x-rays done, I had a sports doctor from a university who was concerned about my condition and got me into a hospital for a MRI scan really quickly, then I had a nerve specialist run tests along my legs and back, and amongst all this time I was given corticosteroids and pain medications.

All the above must have been in my head for the last six years, this "non-existent condition" of mine...

(pardon me... I will now excuse myself as I need to pop some more pain pills as the pain is spreading from my back, down my legs, and into my toes...)

One week away!

Wow, I can't wait...

Just one more week at work and then I go off to Japan for two weeks with my siblings.

I don't feel really prepared but I tried to read up on the subway system and places to go. I know we will definitely get lost, but I suppose that's the fun part of the vacation. :p

I bought a very good book that lists out all the subway lines in Tokyo and the main stops on each line. It should be helpful. * crosses fingers *

We will be winging it in Osaka. There hasn't been too much info regarding Osaka and how to get around the city, so it'll be definitely trial & error. ;p

Just one week away!

** squeals with anticipation **

Curse that alarm system!!

How embarrassing...

This morning I went to work two hours earlier because I needed to catch up on some paperwork. I also went to work earlier yesterday so I already knew how to use the alarm code.

I don't know exactly what happened but I must have either punched in the wrong code by accident or didn't press the buttons hard enough, because the alarm system activated and the sirens were blaring loudly for about five minutes.

I was literally in a state of panic so while the sirens were on, I rushed to the back of the store and called my manager on the cellphone. Fortunately she was awake so she told me how to inactivate the alarm.

She told me that the police may come by even though the alarm company was alerted (by her) that an employee is in the store and not a thief.

Indeed, minutes later, two squad cars pull up in front of the store and I ran outside to tell them that it was not a break-and-entry. The male cop wasn't too pleased with the situation but the female cop was more understanding. At the very least, she was smiling instead of frowning, unlike the other one. I must have looked mortified to be standing in the parking lot with passerby out for the morning walk gawking at me explaining to cops.

It was such an embarrassing and horrible morning. Now, in the future, I will think twice before deciding to go to work earlier.